Quote of the Day

“Is that tent bigger than God?” -Tucker

Quote of the Day

“Heavenly hosts sing wa-wa-woo-wa!” –Tucker, telling me the words to Silent Night

At church this week, Tucker really got into the Advent singing.  He sang with real pleasure and definite gusto—Austin and I had to restrain our giggles and smiles because Tucker can get quite self conscious these days. 

I wasn’t sure how many other people could hear him, but it turns out his voice carried from the altar to the back row because we had people from both places commenting on his singing.  In fact, Fr. Glenn said that he heard Tucker and his first impulse was to laugh and then his next impulse was to cry it was so beautiful.  “That is how it’s supposed to be done!” he told us after the service.

Palm Sunday

Today is Palm Sunday, which is the day that Jesus rode into Jerusalem on a donkey, with the crowds of people around him waving palm branches, and putting branches and cloaks down on the road for Jesus to pass on top of.

Tucker was pretty tired and not at his best during the service today. I was relieved when the recessional was playing and we were done with managing our three year-old in the pew. And then I looked over, and I found Tucker wildly waving as many palm branches as he could find and laying them down in the aisle for everyone in the recessional to walk over (choir, altar boys, lay readers, deacon, priest). Just when I think he isn't listening at all. How does that boy know how to melt my heart?

Playing songs for Jesus

A couple weekends ago, Tucker and Austin had man time while Molly and I went to the gym. First he helped Austin go pick up firewood from a friend, but it was really cold and even the manliest men need time to warm up. Once inside, Tucker decided that they were going to play church together. When I came home, Tucker was playing "hymns" on the piano, had collected assorted implements for the altar (the dining room table), and was making Austin kneel on the prayer kneeler I made Austin for Christmas.

Unfortunately, Molly was sleeping so their service got nixed as the piano is right outside Molly's door. Tucker was bereft, and so Austin got his guitar from storage and Tucker found his recorder and the two of them played songs for Jesus.

Parenting: It's never an interruption

David sent me a link yesterday to a blog post by Paul Tripp of the Gospel Coalition entitled "Parenting: It's Never an Interruption." It was good perspective because, obviously, parenting IS always about interruptions. I can't even go to the bathroom without company in this stage of life, much less complete an entire task.

Why then does Tripp say parenting is never an interruption? "You and I must remember that our Lord loves our children more than we ever could, and his commitment to their growth and change is more faithful and persevering than ours could ever be. Because of this, in his grace and love, he will manufacture moments that expose the needy hearts of our children to us. He will faithfully employ the little moments of everyday life to expose to us and our children their need of rescuing and forgiving grace. And he will not do this only at the moments that you feel are appropriate and when you feel most prepared."

Basically, parenting is never an interruption because the interruptions are the most important thing, they are often our best opportunities to train our kids and speak truth to their lives. Unfortunately, they are also so darn inconvenient when my goal is to get groceries or complete whatever immediate but usually less important task is at hand. Tripp writes, "So I’m impatient, discouraged, or irritated not because my children have broken the laws of God’s kingdom, but the laws of mine. In my kingdom there shall be no parenting on family vacation days, or when I am reading the paper on my iPad, or after ten o’clock at night, or during a good meal, or . . . I could go on."

This is a great reminder for me today.

Christmas dilemmas

These days I can’t seem to complete a trip to the gym without nursing Molly in the childcare room. This makes trips to the gym inevitably longer than expected, but what doesn’t take longer than expected these days?

The women who work in the childcare room are across the board fun and welcoming. I enjoy our few minutes of adult conversation while I’m marooned in a nursing chair. Today the topic was Christmas.

One lady shared her three Christmas dilemmas. The first is trying to convince her three year-old son that Santa will be able to come down the chimney even though the couch is pushed up against the fireplace (to prevent their one year-old from repeatedly climbing into the fireplace.) Apparently the son is still not convinced so their furniture will be rearranged on Christmas Eve.

Secondly, she has put all the presents under lock and key in interesting hiding places to prevent said three year-old from wreaking havoc. I have never met this little boy but he sounds a bit like a terror—she describes him as “high energy”—and has shamelessly been opening any package he can find, even if she is in the same room.

Her third dilemma, the one that has her really stumped, is how to properly convey to her son that there isn’t a religious meaning for Christmas. “We’re not religious people,” she said, “So I’ve tried to tell him that Christmas could be any day. That people just picked that day to celebrate Christmas for political reasons. It’s just an arbitrary day; it doesn’t have any meaning.” This apparently leaves her son in a muddle, muttering confused statements about which days are which. Her husband tells her she is using two many words and trying to explain too much. But she is concerned. After all, his grandparents are religious—the boy might figure out that under the hubbub of presents and wrapping and sugary treats that the holiday is actually celebrating something more than Santa Claus and a mystical idea of generosity and love.

Advent note

I wanted to share an interesting tidbit that I learned this weekend about my favorite advent hymn "O Come O ComeEmmanuel." [If you're not familiar with the hymn, I'm pasting the lyrics at the end of this post.] Apparently, the hymn itself is a 19th century translation of a 12th century Latin hymn. But the roots of the song actually go back much earlier, to the sixth century when many churches observed the last week before Christmas by singing a series of seven antiphons (short passages based on Scripture sung in a call-and-response fashion). The seven antiphons sung that week were called the "O Antiphons" as they all begin with "O" at the beginning of the verse, emphasizing the longing of advent for the coming of Christ. Those antiphons were later made into the modern hymn. If you check it out, you see that each of the seven verses begins with one of the O Antiphons. How cool is that? Sixth century tradition still observed today--some things you really can't improve upon.

Incidentally, all of this knowledge is from our music director, Ken Myers' bulletin note on the subject. (And you thought church bulletins were boring!)

While we're on the subject of Ken Myers' wisdom about music, I wanted to share a statement of his from the annual meeting that struck me as profound. When talking about the music ministry at All Saints, Ken said that worshiping God with music is one of the things that we know we're going to do for eternity, and so it's important to learn about and practice now. Huh.

O come, O come, Emmanuel
And ransom captive Israel
That mourns in lonely exile here
Until the Son of God appear
Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel
Shall come to thee, O Israel.

O come, Thou Rod of Jesse, free
Thine own from Satan's tyranny
From depths of Hell Thy people save
And give them victory o'er the grave
Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel
Shall come to thee, O Israel.

O come, Thou Day-Spring, come and cheer
Our spirits by Thine advent here
Disperse the gloomy clouds of night
And death's dark shadows put to flight.
Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel
Shall come to thee, O Israel.

O come, Thou Key of David, come,
And open wide our heavenly home;
Make safe the way that leads on high,
And close the path to misery.
Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel
Shall come to thee, O Israel.

O come, O come, Thou Lord of might,
Who to Thy tribes, on Sinai's height,
In ancient times did'st give the Law,
In cloud, and majesty and awe.
Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel
Shall come to thee, O Israel.

Inheritor of Thine Everlasting Kingdom

Father Glenn jokes that the babies who come into the Kingdom screaming have more original sin. Molly, in characteristic fashion, came into the Kingdom snorting. I'm not sure what the implications of that are. :)

Quote of the Day

One of Tucker's favorite songs is a Bible one about "The Wise Man Built His House Upon a Rock." If you don't know the parable, there's a wise man that builds his house upon a rock and the rains can't wash it away (as opposed to the foolish man that builds his house upon the sand that does get washed away).

[Tucker sings the song]
Austin: Who is the rock?
Tucker: I don't know.
Austin: The rock is Jesus.
Tucker: No! Jesus isn't a rock!! He's a king.

Thought of the Day, Henri Nouwen

"Often we want to be able to see into the future. We say, "How will next year be for me? Where will I be five or ten years from now?" There are no answers to these questions. Mostly we have just enough light to see the next step: what we have to do in the coming hour or the following day. The art of living is to enjoy what we can see and not complain about what remains in the dark. When we are able to take the next step with the trust that we will have enough light for the step that follows, we can walk through life with joy and be surprised at how far we go. Let's rejoice in the little light we carry and not ask for the great beam that would take all shadows away."

-Henri Nouwen

Thought of the day

"O God, be all my love, all my hope,
all my striving; let my thoughts and words
flow from you, my daily life be in you,
and every breath I take be for you."

-Cassian (c. 360-435), one of the "Desert Fathers," brought monasticism into the West.
He taught that meditation should consist in the repetition of a verse from Scripture,
'folding the recollection of God into the little space of meditation on on one verse.'

[courtesy of David!]

Maria Grace Jamison - 9/30/09

I had a whole entry planned out to post this week now that I was safely in my second trimester, to announce baby #2's expected arrival in March.

I was going to tell the story of last weekend, when Tucker and I were reading a board book that identifies some body parts, the various senses, that sort of thing. There's a two page spread that features kids demonstrating lots of emotions: sad, happy, laughing, scared, etc. Tucker looked at the faces and pointed to the tired face and said "Mama." I tried to read the other faces, but all he wanted to do was point at the tired one and repeat "Mama." That is what Tucker thought of me being pregnant.

Unfortunately, we learned on Tuesday that the baby had died.

It's funny, I wouldn't have thought I'd post about a miscarriage... after all, I waited to announce the baby here until the risk of miscarriage was over. But now that it has happened I feel like it has affected our lives too much NOT to post about it.

I love that our church has a service to celebrate the life of the unborn--called "Mass of the Angels"--and love that we have the opportunity to celebrate it as a short but very real life. We decided to name our child, which we think was a girl: Maria Grace Jamison.

In no particular order, here are some lessons I'm taking away from this experience: 1) Never use a home heart beat doppler--they are misleading! We got readings of a heartbeat long after she had died. 2) If you have a first trimester ultrasound, get one after 8 weeks, when the chance of miscarriage drops to 1 in 100. Before then the ultrasound doesn't confirm too much.

But the most important thing for me in this experience is choosing to grieve knowing that this death is for my good and God's glory ("All things work for the good of those who love God" Romans 8:28). Of course it is not how I would make this world to work, and I look forward to the time when sin and death and sorrow cease, but in the meantime, it's time to look for God's grace in the hard times. From the ease of the medical appointments and Tucker's behavior during them, to the outpouring of love around us, to the fact that I serve a real God who is currently holding my baby in His everlasting arms... the list of God's grace to us right now really does go on and on. "For from Him and through Him and to Him are ALL things--to God be the glory forever." (Romans 11:36).

Article by Andree Seu

David sent this article to me by Andree Seu at World Magazine (6/3/09)
http://online.worldmag.com/2009/06/03/living-in-unfinished-stories/

Seu is writing about a book called A Praying Life by Paul Miller. In the article he summarizes "a few good things God wants for you in the deserts and ambiguity that stretch between asking and receiving." Here are a few excerpts from the list that particularly struck me:

• He wants you to have a chance to get to know him.
• He wants you to have a chance to get to know yourself.
• He wants to expose your idols—and deal with them—in a natural way.
• He wants you to come to the point of surrendering completely.
• He wants you to know what perplexity and the silence of God feel like, so that you can help others who are going through it.
• He wants you to have mad joy at the way He finally answers your prayer, rather than the lesser joy of an answer given too soon.
• He wants you to get to see, when you emerge from the desert, that He was there all along.
• He wants you to have a chance to hold on tight to him in the middle of the story, when you see no light—and then He wants to reward you for that.
• He wants to give you a chance to walk by faith and not by sight, not as a mere slogan or abstract doctrine but as an every-moment dance.
• He wants to give you a chance to learn that praying, as Miller writes, is “inseparable from repenting, serving, managing, waiting,” and not an add-on in your life.
• He wants to give you a chance to reject what seem like answers to prayer on a silver platter that have, as Miller writes, “little tests of integrity” attached to them.

Exhausting and Irritating

I sometimes read Oswald Chambers' My Utmost for His Highest. This morning, the May 19th entry had a comment about trials... how they often aren't some grand event, but may be just something that is exhausting, irritating, or causing some sort of weakness.

This struck a chord with me as a mother. Exhaustion and irritation are the two big challenges I face day in and day out. Tucker is a precious (well loved) little boy. And yet, his needs are endless. Tomorrow he will need the same number of diapers, the same consistency, the same EVERYTHING as today. Even 20 months into this motherhood adventure, I find the 24-7 nature of the task hard. It is easy to reach the end of the day (or the hour) exhausted already.

And as for irritation, I think that also goes with toddler territory as well. Someone described toddlers to me essentially as little cavemen, and I can definitely see the comparison. There is nothing like whining, crying, or even happy shrieking, to wear a person down. Sometimes I feel like saying, "Tucker, can't you just act your age? You're acting so immature!" And then I remember that he is acting his age. This is the one time in his life that it would be difficult for him to act immature in the true sense of the word. :)

...

I wrote this post this morning, and it was not a good idea to tempt fate talking about stuff like that, because I just got a call from my mechanic saying my car needs a new computer. Now THAT is truly irritating. :)

Cold Tangerines

Here are two quotes from the book Cold Tangerines by Shauna Niequist that I really like:

"Bitterness is like when you drink poison, hoping the other person dies."

And

"Hope always feels impossible until you commit to it."

Lenten vows

I forgot to wish everyone a Happy Ash Wednesday last week, but now we're firmly in the Lenten season (although the local country radio station held a belated Mardi Gras celebration on this past Saturday night, which was amusing to me).

Anyway, for various reasons this year I want to try a non-food Lenten "fast." Part of the goal of giving something up is to make room for God in our lives, to pick something that will call to remembrance Jesus throughout the day.

I decided that I would fast from critical thoughts. I only decided this after coming to terms with the fact that it's okay to pick a Lenten vow that I'm going to mess up on. I mean, if I gave up chocolate, it is so cut and dry. It is hard, but the possibility of success is real. Banning a certain type of thoughts for six weeks, especially in a "realist" like myself, is equivalent to setting myself up for failure. What overcame my reluctance was a friend who gently reminded me that having to rely on the Lord to withstand whatever temptation, and on His grace when I fail, is really a good place to be during Lent. She also suggested chanting "cancel" in my mind after inopportune thoughts. :)

Anyway it has been interesting so far, because immediately on the first day I was confronted with issues like "is disliking a house's architecture having a critical thought?" and "does this ban only apply to thoughts about other people, or does it extend to my interior dialogue about myself?"

Anyone feel like chiming in on the comments with what you're doing for Lent?

Sneezy the Dwarf

Have you ever thought of your life in terms of the seven dwarfs? Like one day you're Happy, another day you're Bashful, Grumpy, Sleepy, Doc, etc. (Can anyone name the dwarf that is remaining? Answer at the bottom of this post*....)

Well today, because it's a Sunday, I am Sneezy. I am almost always Sneezy on Sundays.

I'm allergic to dust. But besides the occasional problem with vacuuming, I do pretty well... until Sunday rolls around. Church clothes are my nemesis. No, it's not that I'm allergic to dresses and skirts, it's that they are much less frequently worn and washed than everything else in my closet (and tend to need dry-cleaning at a high rate).

It is pretty common for me to actually have to leave the service because I've been disrupting everyone with my incessant sneezing. In fact, it is routine for me to receive the sacrament by just having the wafer dipped in the wine rather than sipping the wine from the cup because I don't want the person at the altar next to me to be distracted by the fact I'm drinking from the same cup they are and have so clearly been "ill" and sneezing my whole way through the service.

Why do I bring this up now? I decided recently this course of events had to stop so I have been getting dressed an hour early, to test whether I can successfully wear an outfit without an allergy attack. Today, I have already run through two outfits that made me ill. I am waiting for my nose to settle down so I can try another. I only have 15 minutes left till take-off.

(And yes for all you wondering, I do take anti-histamines... claritin does nothing for me, but I'm a fan of zyrtec, a new one.)

*Answer: Dopey

Free at last, free at last...

... thank God Almighty, free at last.
-me, after finishing the Bible study curriculum I'm writing

Okay, so maybe it's not kosher to appropriate the words of Martin Luther King Jr. for trivial purposes like to convey my relief after finally finishing the high school Bible study curriculum I've been writing for Camp Cedarbrook in Maine (the former Camp Cherith), but I sure am excited.

It is a lot harder to write Bible studies for high schoolers at camp when you have been:
a) out of high school for more than a decade
b) absent from camp for the past 6 years
c) not currently teaching Bible studies of any kind
d) not regularly around high school kiddos.

It was a painful process, but I have learned over the years that just because something is painful, it doesn't mean it is not a good process, or a useful one, or one that can produce results useful to others. It would have been fun to have had an epiphany from on high and then just have to write it down. But, if you had to wait for that level of divine inspiration, I'm afraid not many Bible studies would get written.

It is amazing to me that even in the muddling imperfection of someone like me trying to write a Bible study, that God can choose to speak. Seriously.

It makes me think of the verse from 1 Corinthians 13:12 "For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known."

The Wheels on the Bus

One of Tucker's favorite songs right now is "The Wheels on the Bus." He especially loves the sound effects and silly noises we insert into it.

Today, I am in the unlucky position today of having that venerable song stuck in my head.

I'll spare you the details but as I sit down and try to write some Bible study curriculum for the camp I was a counselor at in Maine (formerly Camp Cherith, the new Camp Cedarbrook), the wheels of my mind are busy singing about buses. The synapses aren't connecting very quickly for the task at hand.

Becoming a mother has changed the way my mind works. Seriously. I've always tried to do too much at once, but now, there is just a part of my brain that is permanently derailed with silly songs and listening for the baby monitor and trying to keep us all on schedule and fed and clothed. My mother said that this part of the brain never comes back....

Anyway, back to the topic at hand, which, if I haven't made clear, is the camp curriculum I'm trying to write. About three months ago writing this curriculum seemed like a great idea. I've written high school Bible study curriculum before, so when I was approached to volunteer for this task I thought: what a fun thing to do in my spare time! And of course it is. Until the day you sit down in front of a blank screen, Bible in hand, and your mind goes blank.

I bet it will get accomplished faster if I keep blogging....

Happy Epiphany!

I wanted to wish everyone a happy Epiphany, and then I realized I wasn't 100% sure what that meant in the first place, though I have vague images of the 3 Wise Men dancing in my head. And while we're at it, what are the 12 days of Christmas besides just a silly song?

So... time to entrust our theological understanding to google, right?

Anyway, turns out I was right

"Epiphany is a Christian holiday that is commonly associated with the visit of the Three Kings to baby Christ. It is also the 12th day of Christmas, as popularized by the song. In essence, Christmas does not end for many Christians until Christ is revealed. In some Christian denominations Epiphany does not end until Lent begins."

I think that is a decent explanation of the 12 days of Christmas too, that Christmas is not just a day but a SEASON of celebrating Jesus' birth, which ends when he was revealed to the magii. Too bad everyone likes to celebrate the season starting at Halloween or Thanksgiving and are already putting away the decorations by the 26th! Seriously, on the second day of Christmas, I tried to find some decorations in WalMart and they were already being taken away for lawn and garden supplies.

I think it'd be interesting to think of some ways to incorporate the 12 days of Christmas into our family's Christmas celebration, though I don't think I have the discipline to only have everyone open one gift a day and wait for the big one until Epiphany (Sister Lynda's suggestion!!!). I'm thinking something more in line with a 12 days of Christmas calendar (you know, like an advent calendar but for the Christmas celebration itself)... maybe culminating with some sort of celebration on Epiphany itself.

This is what that same random web page reports other cultures do to celebrate Epiphany:

"In many Latin American households, children leave out their shoes with bits of hay for the camels ridden by the kings. They often receive gifts on Epiphany, or the Day of the Kings, and it is thought that the gifts are better if one leaves hay for the Kings’ mounts.

The French often celebrate Epiphany by eating King’s cake or gâteau des Rois. Often a bean or a small toy is placed in the cake. The person who gets the slice with the hidden item is said to enjoy good luck for the year.

Eastern Orthodox Churches find Epiphany particularly relevant as the revelation of Christ. A church celebration may include the blessing of the waters. The nearest body of water is visited, prayed over, and a crucifix is thrown into the water. If weather conditions permit, swimmers may try to retrieve the cross."

Anyway, I think today I'll just settle for wishing everyone a Happy Epiphany and putting away our Christmas decorations.

(Source: http://www.wisegeek.com/what-is-epiphany.htm)