David sent me a link yesterday to a blog post by Paul Tripp of the Gospel Coalition entitled "Parenting: It's Never an Interruption." It was good perspective because, obviously, parenting IS always about interruptions. I can't even go to the bathroom without company in this stage of life, much less complete an entire task.
Why then does Tripp say parenting is never an interruption? "You and I must remember that our Lord loves our children more than we ever could, and his commitment to their growth and change is more faithful and persevering than ours could ever be. Because of this, in his grace and love, he will manufacture moments that expose the needy hearts of our children to us. He will faithfully employ the little moments of everyday life to expose to us and our children their need of rescuing and forgiving grace. And he will not do this only at the moments that you feel are appropriate and when you feel most prepared."
Basically, parenting is never an interruption because the interruptions are the most important thing, they are often our best opportunities to train our kids and speak truth to their lives. Unfortunately, they are also so darn inconvenient when my goal is to get groceries or complete whatever immediate but usually less important task is at hand. Tripp writes, "So I’m impatient, discouraged, or irritated not because my children have broken the laws of God’s kingdom, but the laws of mine. In my kingdom there shall be no parenting on family vacation days, or when I am reading the paper on my iPad, or after ten o’clock at night, or during a good meal, or . . . I could go on."
This is a great reminder for me today.
Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Why I am Stopping Using Cloth Diapers
I just explained how I made cloth diapers work for us. And now I'll explain why I'm ditching them.
Cloth diapers aren't bad, but disposables are definitely easier. The parts I dislike the most are:
1) Dealing with solids on cloth diapers when babies get older (there's a big gross factor)
2) Putting the diapers into the wash (yuck!)
3) Taking the time to stuff the inserts into the diapers after they're dry
4) I don't appreciate the cloth diaper aesthetic; they are bulkier to wear so it makes my babies look like pears.
5) The bulky diapers makes my kids grow out of their clothes faster.
6) Disposables do a better job of wicking water away from a baby's skin. Cloth diapers have cotton inserts which obviously are not the best at wicking and their skin just seems wetter when I change them using cloth diapers (result: more diaper rash)
I'm willing to put up with minor inconvenience for a good reason, but when I sat down to calculate my cost savings today from cloth diapers, I was simply appalled.
When I had been thinking about cloth diapers, I had only been thinking about the time cost, not the monetary cost of laundering. It turns out there is a not insignificant monetary cost associated with the laundering process.
Cost of disposables:
I don't use name brand disposables. I've found that the very best diapers you can buy are Pampers, but that Target, Costco and Walmart all have good store brand alternatives. The worst disposables in my opinion are Luvs or Huggies. The cost of disposables in sizes 2 and 3 (which should take us through between 14-18 months) is 14.5 cents a diaper.
The cost of laundering cloth diapers based on our electric rate of $0.08 per kwhr:
8-11 cents a load for detergent
7-11 cents a load for electricity for our well pump to pump the water
25-55 cents for one hot wash and four cold washes
30-40 cents for the dryer electricity
If I average it all out and divide by the average number of diapers in one of my loads (between 8 and 9), the cost for us to wash a cloth diaper is approximately 11.5 cents. This is a whopping savings of 3 cents a diaper from disposables, or 65 cents a week and $34 a year. (If you had to factor in the cost of buying the cloth diapers the equation would become ridiculous, since each reusable diaper costs about $20, though I got my stash on Craigslist for a lot less.)
When the diapers are bigger, the per diaper cost of disposables increases to about 19 cents, and the per diaper savings skyrockets to 8 cents, yielding a savings of $1.67 a week or $87 a year.
I just want to tell you that my time is worth a lot more than that to me.
Of course, this whole post so far is ignoring the environmental trade off between cloth and disposables. With cloth you're not putting the chemicals that are in disposables next to baby's skin. That's great--but not so great if you're giving them diaper rash by keeping them wet.
The big environmental problem with disposables is the space they take up in landfills. Definitely a significant negative. But a thorough life cycle analysis of the issue in the UK has discounted the landfill aspect of disposables, and found that the manufacture of them had bigger environmental impacts. Even so, the study found that given recent reductions in the energy required to make a disposable diaper, the carbon impact (ie energy use) of disposables is actually less than with reusables if you use hot wash water and if you use a dryer (both of which I do). Check out the UK environmental agency's very thorough report on the subject (scroll to the end for their conclusions): http://randd.defra.gov.uk/Document.aspx?Document=WR0705_7589_FRP.pdf
It'd take more than that UK report to convince me that disposables can be better for the environment (depending on how you wash reusables). But it's interesting that the issue is debatable.
Regardless, this is my take on the situation: bye, bye cloth diapers.
Addendum: I think cloth diapers can make sense, if, like my friend Alison said in the comments below, you have big loads of diapers--two kids in diapers at once, and use them 100% of the time, and have a lot of the diapers so that you do loads as infrequently as possible. Big loads, cold water, line drying: that's what makes them work.
Cloth diapers aren't bad, but disposables are definitely easier. The parts I dislike the most are:
1) Dealing with solids on cloth diapers when babies get older (there's a big gross factor)
2) Putting the diapers into the wash (yuck!)
3) Taking the time to stuff the inserts into the diapers after they're dry
4) I don't appreciate the cloth diaper aesthetic; they are bulkier to wear so it makes my babies look like pears.
5) The bulky diapers makes my kids grow out of their clothes faster.
6) Disposables do a better job of wicking water away from a baby's skin. Cloth diapers have cotton inserts which obviously are not the best at wicking and their skin just seems wetter when I change them using cloth diapers (result: more diaper rash)
I'm willing to put up with minor inconvenience for a good reason, but when I sat down to calculate my cost savings today from cloth diapers, I was simply appalled.
When I had been thinking about cloth diapers, I had only been thinking about the time cost, not the monetary cost of laundering. It turns out there is a not insignificant monetary cost associated with the laundering process.
Cost of disposables:
I don't use name brand disposables. I've found that the very best diapers you can buy are Pampers, but that Target, Costco and Walmart all have good store brand alternatives. The worst disposables in my opinion are Luvs or Huggies. The cost of disposables in sizes 2 and 3 (which should take us through between 14-18 months) is 14.5 cents a diaper.
The cost of laundering cloth diapers based on our electric rate of $0.08 per kwhr:
8-11 cents a load for detergent
7-11 cents a load for electricity for our well pump to pump the water
25-55 cents for one hot wash and four cold washes
30-40 cents for the dryer electricity
If I average it all out and divide by the average number of diapers in one of my loads (between 8 and 9), the cost for us to wash a cloth diaper is approximately 11.5 cents. This is a whopping savings of 3 cents a diaper from disposables, or 65 cents a week and $34 a year. (If you had to factor in the cost of buying the cloth diapers the equation would become ridiculous, since each reusable diaper costs about $20, though I got my stash on Craigslist for a lot less.)
When the diapers are bigger, the per diaper cost of disposables increases to about 19 cents, and the per diaper savings skyrockets to 8 cents, yielding a savings of $1.67 a week or $87 a year.
I just want to tell you that my time is worth a lot more than that to me.
Of course, this whole post so far is ignoring the environmental trade off between cloth and disposables. With cloth you're not putting the chemicals that are in disposables next to baby's skin. That's great--but not so great if you're giving them diaper rash by keeping them wet.
The big environmental problem with disposables is the space they take up in landfills. Definitely a significant negative. But a thorough life cycle analysis of the issue in the UK has discounted the landfill aspect of disposables, and found that the manufacture of them had bigger environmental impacts. Even so, the study found that given recent reductions in the energy required to make a disposable diaper, the carbon impact (ie energy use) of disposables is actually less than with reusables if you use hot wash water and if you use a dryer (both of which I do). Check out the UK environmental agency's very thorough report on the subject (scroll to the end for their conclusions): http://randd.defra.gov.uk/Document.aspx?Document=WR0705_7589_FRP.pdf
It'd take more than that UK report to convince me that disposables can be better for the environment (depending on how you wash reusables). But it's interesting that the issue is debatable.
Regardless, this is my take on the situation: bye, bye cloth diapers.
Addendum: I think cloth diapers can make sense, if, like my friend Alison said in the comments below, you have big loads of diapers--two kids in diapers at once, and use them 100% of the time, and have a lot of the diapers so that you do loads as infrequently as possible. Big loads, cold water, line drying: that's what makes them work.
Using cloth diapers
I don't like spending money on diapers. They just go into the trash and you have to buy big boxes again and again for a couple years. In Tucker's second year I bought a batch of BumGenius cloth diapers from Craigslist and started using them. BumGenius diapers are a one-size fits all diaper (so you don't have to buy cloth diapers of different sizes as your child grows), and get among the best reviews of cloth diapers. They definitely cut down on the amount of disposables we bought, and diapering with cloth isn't as awful a process as it sounds. I just started using them again with Molly (there are more important things I was doing in her first couple months... like sleeping).
Our cloth diapering process:
We have a plastic storage bin by the changing table that accepts used diapers. If the baby is eating solids, any solids in the diaper need to be brushed off into toilet. If the baby is not eating solids, just put the diaper right into the storage bin. We haven't had a problem with odors because the lid seals tight, but you could put baking soda in there.
We have 10 cloth diapers, which takes me about 3 days to use, and is about 60% of our total diapering. I never use them for the first two diapers of the day, so that I don't have to deal with cloth diapers during our morning excursions... plus, the childcare workers in the gym get confused when they see a cloth diaper. :)
The wash process:
Front loading washing machines are great for a lot of things, but washing cloth diapers is not one of them. The problem is that they are so efficient with water, and cloth diapers are one of the few things that really do need a lot of water to get clean. It's not hard to get the diapers clean in a front loader, but it just takes more cycles.
Cycle 1:
Rinse/drain diapers to get the most offending stuff off (no detergent)
Cycle 2:
Heavy wash with hot water and cold rinse (detergent)
Cycle 3:
Heavy wash with cold water and cold rinse (no detergent)
It may seem counter intuitive, but a big reason a cloth diaper might smell of ammonia is if too much detergent is used. Too much detergent locks in the smell. That's why it's so critical to have the third cycle with no detergent. I've researched whether washing cloth diapers in a washing machine is sanitary, and the consensus seems to be yes and that bleaching the machine is not necessary. But I still feel better having that third cycle so that my washing machine seems more clean for the next load.
The other important part of cloth diapers is getting them completely dry. Because the inserts in the diaper are thick cotton, they often take more time than a normal load and they need to be done on high.
The laundering process sounds really involved, but now that I have it figured out, it isn't bad (we're around the house a lot in the afternoons and evenings which makes it easy to babysit the washing machine).
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Reasons why I love the gym
1) They take my kids.
2) I get an uninterrupted shower.
3) I have 30 minutes for uninterrupted reading if I use an elliptical machine (you might think this is not high-quality reading time, but this is not the case... I've read scholarly articles as well as Mark Twain's Joan of Ark and didn't enjoy either any the less).
4) If I take a class, there are other adults with which to have conversations that go beyond whether they need to use the potty or if they need their nose wiped.
5) They take my kids.
I may well turn into a gym rat.... :)
2) I get an uninterrupted shower.
3) I have 30 minutes for uninterrupted reading if I use an elliptical machine (you might think this is not high-quality reading time, but this is not the case... I've read scholarly articles as well as Mark Twain's Joan of Ark and didn't enjoy either any the less).
4) If I take a class, there are other adults with which to have conversations that go beyond whether they need to use the potty or if they need their nose wiped.
5) They take my kids.
I may well turn into a gym rat.... :)
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Molly June Bug is Two Months Old
Molly had her two month check-up yesterday and weighed in at 13 lbs 0 oz (Austin won our bet on what she would weigh for the first time ever). That makes her a big baby girl (90th percentile)! As we were leaving the doctor said that he'd see us when she was 6 months old. I was surprised because usually there's a four month check-up as well. Turns out, he looked at her and had simply forgotten that this was only her two month check-up. Molly is a whole pound and a half smaller than Tucker was at this age, but she started out smaller, too--they both added exactly 80% to their body weights in the two months since they left the hospital.
Molly is still an amazingly easy baby. For awhile there it seemed like she was discontent a lot of the time that she was awake (not loudly discontent, just not super happy to be doing anything except being held), but that seems to be fading away. She's starting to have lots of the fun wiggling-on-the-ground-making-fun-baby-noises time, which I remember fondly from when Tucker was that age. She still doesn't take a pacifier, but we haven't tried very hard because she's not loud and demanding and in pain like Tucker was from his digestive problems. She does like to smack on her fist.
She is still a great sleeper. Her bedtime is between 6 and 7 pm and I'll wake her up to eat before I go to bed and she'll often go 7 hours now till she wakes up (last night it was 8 and a half!). That would be sleeping through the night for normal people who don't go to bed as early as we do. During the day she prefers napping in her car seat to the crib, but that's okay with me at this point. I think she is stingier on smiles than Tucker was, but it's hard to remember exactly... I know she will continue to wake up more in the next six weeks and I think we'll see a little more of her personality.
What strikes me the most about having an infant again is how much easier it is than last time. A lot of this is how different Molly is than Tucker was. But I think a significant part too is how less bewildering parenthood is the second time around. Last time it seemed so difficult to get groceries with an infant. This time I barely notice having an infant when I do errands, because it's so much easier than having a toddler. I may need to drag around a heavy infant carrier--but she never talks back, never has opinions, doesn't run anywhere, doesn't throw tantrums. And to top it all off, she's cute and a good snuggler. She's definitely a keeper. :)
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Clutter, Part 2
My friend Alison in her comment yesterday has ESP on where I was going with the second part of this clutter post: kid stuff. Toys are a whole category of stuff that stumps me as a clutter-clearer. People who visit tell me that our house isn’t over run with toys like some houses they’ve been to. Maybe. I find this not a particular compliment for us, but more an indictment of how kids are growing up today. Too many toys aren’t a plus for parent OR child. Besides the parental frustration of an endless amount of mixed-up junk that gets piled around randomly or that forms a skim over all available surfaces, too many toys frustrates a child’s ability to focus and play creatively. There really is such a thing as too many choices.
I do the old take-toys-away-while-Tucker’s-asleep trick and have a stash of toys in the attic to cycle in as new every few months. I have gotten more merciless on culling for good the toys that Tucker has never been drawn to (though I make sure to ask the thrift store ladies not to put out our toy donations until we’ve left the store). I also am starting to be wiser about some categories of toys.
Trucks: really, all of these do the same thing in terms of play-value so only one or two favorites need to be out at one time, at least now that Tucker has other interests.
Art supplies: NEVER buy the 64 pack of crayons, at least for a preschooler. Fewer things means they are easier kept track of and better cared for and more easily replaced when they are used up.
Gifts: I’m trying to think more in terms of non-durable goods. For Tucker’s stocking I’m focusing on things that have a shelf life, like fun band-aids, punch ball balloons, animal crackers, glitter pens and coloring books… things that will be special and thoroughly enjoyed but won’t add to the sheer quantity of stuff in our house long-term. Another tactic is to give experiences or extra special clothes that he will eventually grow out of (ie Mickey Mouse slippers), and less of those things (however nice) that hang around indefinitely.
I may even institute a one-toy-in-one-toy-out policy except for Christmas and birthdays, and start engaging Tucker more in this process of giving things away. I also want to be more consistent in the New Year about teaching Tucker to take better care of his stuff so that sets of things remain together and can actually be used.
I do the old take-toys-away-while-Tucker’s-asleep trick and have a stash of toys in the attic to cycle in as new every few months. I have gotten more merciless on culling for good the toys that Tucker has never been drawn to (though I make sure to ask the thrift store ladies not to put out our toy donations until we’ve left the store). I also am starting to be wiser about some categories of toys.
Trucks: really, all of these do the same thing in terms of play-value so only one or two favorites need to be out at one time, at least now that Tucker has other interests.
Art supplies: NEVER buy the 64 pack of crayons, at least for a preschooler. Fewer things means they are easier kept track of and better cared for and more easily replaced when they are used up.
Gifts: I’m trying to think more in terms of non-durable goods. For Tucker’s stocking I’m focusing on things that have a shelf life, like fun band-aids, punch ball balloons, animal crackers, glitter pens and coloring books… things that will be special and thoroughly enjoyed but won’t add to the sheer quantity of stuff in our house long-term. Another tactic is to give experiences or extra special clothes that he will eventually grow out of (ie Mickey Mouse slippers), and less of those things (however nice) that hang around indefinitely.
I may even institute a one-toy-in-one-toy-out policy except for Christmas and birthdays, and start engaging Tucker more in this process of giving things away. I also want to be more consistent in the New Year about teaching Tucker to take better care of his stuff so that sets of things remain together and can actually be used.
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Football
This video is of Tucker trying to change the channel on the TV so he could watch football... on Monday at 6 pm. He has become convinced that if he holds the remote to the VCR pointed at the TV and chants "football" that football will come on. This crazy belief has nothing to do with his father's tendency to secretly hold the remote that changes the channel and change the channel back to football when Tucker does his football/remote chant....
Parenting Surprises
Molly is a mellow baby. When she wants to eat she lets me know at low-decibel noise levels. She will even wait patiently while I get ready to nurse (Tucker preferred to scream if food didn't enter his mouth instantaneously). Last night she took patient to new levels.
I heard her squawk once or twice at 12:40 but she wasn't insistent, so I went back to sleep until she was insistent. At 1:40 I woke up again and heard her squawk a couple times only slightly louder. It was earlier than I hoped she would eat, but I was awake and she was awake and it was possible she could make it the rest of the night if I fed her then.
I went into her room and picked her up and discovered she was soaking. I mean SOAKING. We keep our house at 63 degrees and so she wears a sleeper, then two fleece blanket sleepers on top of it. They were all just dripping with water.
I went to change her and what I found made me laugh out loud: she was not wearing a diaper. The diaper hadn't fallen off, it wasn't full... it was entirely missing. Most of the time I would chalk this up to Mommy brain, but this time I had an even better excuse: it was Daddy who put her to bed. :)
I heard her squawk once or twice at 12:40 but she wasn't insistent, so I went back to sleep until she was insistent. At 1:40 I woke up again and heard her squawk a couple times only slightly louder. It was earlier than I hoped she would eat, but I was awake and she was awake and it was possible she could make it the rest of the night if I fed her then.
I went into her room and picked her up and discovered she was soaking. I mean SOAKING. We keep our house at 63 degrees and so she wears a sleeper, then two fleece blanket sleepers on top of it. They were all just dripping with water.
I went to change her and what I found made me laugh out loud: she was not wearing a diaper. The diaper hadn't fallen off, it wasn't full... it was entirely missing. Most of the time I would chalk this up to Mommy brain, but this time I had an even better excuse: it was Daddy who put her to bed. :)
Saturday, September 25, 2010
Sleeping in Style
Last night Tucker really surprised us. I went in to check on him before bed, only to discover he was missing. He's been sleeping in his little jumping/reading nook between his two big boy beds for the past week, and with the amount of stuff he has piled in there it's a bit hard to see him sometimes. I removed his sleeping bag and pillows and it became more obvious: Tucker was not there. Tucker was also not in either of his beds.
At this point as a parent, I started to freak out. The windows weren't tampered with. The door to Austin's office was still closed. He wasn't crashed on the rug. So where was he??? Visions of Tucker wandering through the house asleep without us hearing went through my mind.
Thankfully I found him the next place I checked: under the bed. He was fast asleep under the middle of one of the beds in his room, on the hard wood floor, with a book beside him and ducky under his head. He had to have crawled under there because it is just not possible to have rolled to where he was. Totally ridiculous.
Also ridiculous was the fact that he was sleeping so soundly that I couldn't wake him up by talking or touching him and that Austin needed to pick one end of the bed up so I could sling him over my shoulder like a sack of potatoes and deposit him in a more reasonable sleeping location. (He did open his eyes for about a second when I put him in bed, but that was the extent of his acknowledgment of his new location.)
This morning when we asked him about it, he didn't remember being under there when Austin asked and when I asked he said there was a book under there he went to get. Hmmmmm.
Friday, September 10, 2010
Things not to say to a pregnant woman
"You look like you're going to pop!"
"Really, you have a whole month left? Looks like it should be any day."
"Are you sure there's only one in there?"
"It's anti-Christian to find out the baby's gender beforehand." (When I was in the middle of a conversation with someone else about having just found out the baby's gender....)
These are the greatest hits so far of this pregnancy. I've received the "you're going to pop" exclamation twice in the past 10 days. Gee whiz, thanks. :)
"Really, you have a whole month left? Looks like it should be any day."
"Are you sure there's only one in there?"
"It's anti-Christian to find out the baby's gender beforehand." (When I was in the middle of a conversation with someone else about having just found out the baby's gender....)
These are the greatest hits so far of this pregnancy. I've received the "you're going to pop" exclamation twice in the past 10 days. Gee whiz, thanks. :)
Monday, June 28, 2010
"My kisses and hugs flew away!"
-Tucker, at bedtime
A few months ago Tucker's hugs and kisses kept getting lost, necessitating more kisses and hugs being administered. We no longer have that problem, but despite my best efforts, Tucker's kisses and hugs keep flying away at bedtime. I painstakingly apply our best imaginary tape and glue all over Tucker and give him his hugs and kisses, but somehow when I leave the room, they tend to fly away (and he tends to scream about it).
Incidentally, Tucker seems to be in a tantrum phase these days and has a tendency to throw a fit over some pretty silly things (like kisses and hugs that fly away). On Sunday as we got ready for church, he had a tantrum over letting Austin brush his teeth. At the pool last week he had a tantrum because he wanted to snuggle with his towel rather than get dressed. The other night at 4:30 in the morning he had a screaming fit because he couldn't find the cars he wanted in bed (Austin had apparently moved them so that he would have room to read Tucker a bedtime story). The list could go on from there. I'm not sure I like this phase.
A few months ago Tucker's hugs and kisses kept getting lost, necessitating more kisses and hugs being administered. We no longer have that problem, but despite my best efforts, Tucker's kisses and hugs keep flying away at bedtime. I painstakingly apply our best imaginary tape and glue all over Tucker and give him his hugs and kisses, but somehow when I leave the room, they tend to fly away (and he tends to scream about it).
Incidentally, Tucker seems to be in a tantrum phase these days and has a tendency to throw a fit over some pretty silly things (like kisses and hugs that fly away). On Sunday as we got ready for church, he had a tantrum over letting Austin brush his teeth. At the pool last week he had a tantrum because he wanted to snuggle with his towel rather than get dressed. The other night at 4:30 in the morning he had a screaming fit because he couldn't find the cars he wanted in bed (Austin had apparently moved them so that he would have room to read Tucker a bedtime story). The list could go on from there. I'm not sure I like this phase.
Saturday, May 15, 2010
Sometimes Grandma Really Does Know Best
My mom took Tucker to the library last week when she was here, and they looked at a book promisingly entitled "Oops." It was a book with no words, just pictures, of a house built on ridiculous stilts on the side of a hill that falls down. My mom quickly put the book away at the library so he wouldn't be scared, thinking that houses falling down is not a great subject for active two year-old imaginations.
But Tucker spent all of last weekend talking about the book, and whether his house was going to fall down. I thought the subject fascinated him, and so when we went to the library this week, we checked it out.
It turned out my mom was right.
He has not wanted to read the book one time, even when asked on numerous occasions (after all his talk about it, Austin and I are interested in reading it--it'd be a good break from Thomas the Train).
Fast forward to last night... we were having a thunderstorm complete with some impressive hail. I went up there when the hail was coming down loudly on the metal roof; Tucker was really crying and all he wanted to know was if his house was going to fall down. He calmed down, I went back downstairs. Next time he started crying, Austin went up and had to reassure Tucker once again that his house was NOT going to fall down.
Thankfully, the storm (eventually) ended, Tucker fell asleep and that book is going back to the library ASAP.
But Tucker spent all of last weekend talking about the book, and whether his house was going to fall down. I thought the subject fascinated him, and so when we went to the library this week, we checked it out.
It turned out my mom was right.
He has not wanted to read the book one time, even when asked on numerous occasions (after all his talk about it, Austin and I are interested in reading it--it'd be a good break from Thomas the Train).
Fast forward to last night... we were having a thunderstorm complete with some impressive hail. I went up there when the hail was coming down loudly on the metal roof; Tucker was really crying and all he wanted to know was if his house was going to fall down. He calmed down, I went back downstairs. Next time he started crying, Austin went up and had to reassure Tucker once again that his house was NOT going to fall down.
Thankfully, the storm (eventually) ended, Tucker fell asleep and that book is going back to the library ASAP.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
A successful rest time?
I think Tucker is really done with naps. Cold turkey, two weeks ago. I'm still in shock. He is getting better at staying in bed and not shouting during rest time, which gives me a little bit of a break. I felt like today was a particularly successful rest time because I didn't have to go up there a single time to give him a warning, even though we had a workman installing carpet and being noisy within earshot.
...That was until I went into his room and noticed that all the framed pictures within reach were all hanging precariously askew, apparently having withstood Tucker's attempts to systematically a) hang from them, or b) rip them off the wall during rest time. Ah, good times.
...That was until I went into his room and noticed that all the framed pictures within reach were all hanging precariously askew, apparently having withstood Tucker's attempts to systematically a) hang from them, or b) rip them off the wall during rest time. Ah, good times.
Sunday, April 25, 2010
The Pacifier Fairy
The Pacifier Fairy visited Tucker this week. Tucker put all of the pacifiers that he still uses at naps and at nighttime in a basket on the porch, and the Pacifier Fairy whisked them away for the babies who need them, leaving big boy toys in their place.
Tucker is thrilled by the Matchbox dune buggy, the Mickey Mouse Pez dispenser, and the Winnie the Pooh and Barney videos the Pacifier fairy gave him. In fact, giving up the pacifier wasn't as bad as I thought. There have been no tantrums, and no tears. Tucker hasn't had any trouble going to sleep at night or getting back to sleep when he wakes up in the middle of the night. All in all, the Pacifier Fairy had a very successful visit... except for one thing.
Did the Pacifier Fairy tell my son it was time to stop napping?????????????
This is day 3 of no pacis and day 3 of no naps. Tucker was already having an issue of fighting his naps with his newly discovered freedom of being able to get out of bed. But I thought we had gotten over the hump with that and were back to 2+ hour naps every day. But the lack of a pacifier has reset the naptime equilibrium again, and Tucker has turned into an insane, hyper little guy at naptime. He yawned when I put him down today, and yawned after I put him down (again) midway through his nap after going potty... and in between he gathered every car he could find on his bed and sang the Wheels on the Bus song.
Dear Pacifier Fairy, can you bring ME a present? Please bring back naptime!!!
Tucker is thrilled by the Matchbox dune buggy, the Mickey Mouse Pez dispenser, and the Winnie the Pooh and Barney videos the Pacifier fairy gave him. In fact, giving up the pacifier wasn't as bad as I thought. There have been no tantrums, and no tears. Tucker hasn't had any trouble going to sleep at night or getting back to sleep when he wakes up in the middle of the night. All in all, the Pacifier Fairy had a very successful visit... except for one thing.
Did the Pacifier Fairy tell my son it was time to stop napping?????????????
This is day 3 of no pacis and day 3 of no naps. Tucker was already having an issue of fighting his naps with his newly discovered freedom of being able to get out of bed. But I thought we had gotten over the hump with that and were back to 2+ hour naps every day. But the lack of a pacifier has reset the naptime equilibrium again, and Tucker has turned into an insane, hyper little guy at naptime. He yawned when I put him down today, and yawned after I put him down (again) midway through his nap after going potty... and in between he gathered every car he could find on his bed and sang the Wheels on the Bus song.
Dear Pacifier Fairy, can you bring ME a present? Please bring back naptime!!!
Friday, April 9, 2010
Jail Break
Tucker has discovered that he can get out of bed and leave his room at will during naps and at night. Tucker thinks this is an exciting and stimulating discovery that requires a lot of exploration right now. Austin and I are hoping the novelty wears off quickly and in the meantime are spending a lot of time shaking our heads at each other in a combination of amusement and irritation.
We have established that there are two rules of naptime: 1) Be quiet and 2) Stay in your room. Obviously, these are very nuanced rules that need to be tested in depth. Tucker figured out the first day that if he needs to go to the potty, he gets to subvert those two rules. And so that first day he went potty every 5 minutes for about 5 times straight, squeezing out a tablespoon of pee each time. That did NOT work for me, who had to institute a third rule: Only one potty break during naptime.
He's up there now turning the monitor off and on, turning the lights on and off, shaking a noise maker, running vigorously to all corners of his room, and rolling cars all over the floor. But at least he's still in his room. Sounds like a good nap to me.
We have established that there are two rules of naptime: 1) Be quiet and 2) Stay in your room. Obviously, these are very nuanced rules that need to be tested in depth. Tucker figured out the first day that if he needs to go to the potty, he gets to subvert those two rules. And so that first day he went potty every 5 minutes for about 5 times straight, squeezing out a tablespoon of pee each time. That did NOT work for me, who had to institute a third rule: Only one potty break during naptime.
He's up there now turning the monitor off and on, turning the lights on and off, shaking a noise maker, running vigorously to all corners of his room, and rolling cars all over the floor. But at least he's still in his room. Sounds like a good nap to me.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Potty Training, for real
I posted ages ago about considering potty training Tucker. I started thinking about it last summer, and we took a few half hearted steps, but nothing really serious until recently.
One of the problems was that I had bought a potty chair and a potty seat that didn't work for a boy. Not to be too graphic, but unless there is a pee guard, there is no way that a toddler boy can pee sitting down without aiming or making a big mess. Until I found a potty chair that didn't need the advanced skill of aiming, potty training was pretty much an impossibility.
Tucker helped choose the potty colors and was thrilled when the potties came in the mail. I bought a lot of training pants and devoted several days in a row last week to not leaving the house and filling Tucker with fluids so that he had a lot of opportunities to practice the whole thing.
At first I thought he might never get it, but by the second full-time day, he definitely knew what was going on. We have reached the point that he can be basically accident free with peeing when he's at home with us, although it does take a certain amount of convincing him that he needs to stop playing and sit on the potty. In fact, this weekend we started having a battle of wills about sitting on the potty, and it was getting pretty frustrating for all involved.
The solution: consequences. We don't make him sit on the potty if he adamently refuses. But, we have taken away all his matchbox cars and trucks and placed them on the mantle of our fireplace. He needs to earn them back by using the potty. Each time he successfully goes on the potty he gets one back, and each time he goes in his pants, we put the last one he got back on the fireplace mantle. I have to say this merit/demerit system has placed the decision in his hands. If he adamently refuses to go when we know he needs to, then he has an accident and loses a truck. It is very motivating for him.
Of course, we still have our challenges, namely going #2 and being comfortable going to the bathroom outside the house. It also would be nice if he eventually told us (or at least didn't deny) when he did need to use the potty.
But progress is occurring, and we're a little more than a week into it. Still, if you wonder what I'm doing rather than blogging, this is it.
One of the problems was that I had bought a potty chair and a potty seat that didn't work for a boy. Not to be too graphic, but unless there is a pee guard, there is no way that a toddler boy can pee sitting down without aiming or making a big mess. Until I found a potty chair that didn't need the advanced skill of aiming, potty training was pretty much an impossibility.
Tucker helped choose the potty colors and was thrilled when the potties came in the mail. I bought a lot of training pants and devoted several days in a row last week to not leaving the house and filling Tucker with fluids so that he had a lot of opportunities to practice the whole thing.
At first I thought he might never get it, but by the second full-time day, he definitely knew what was going on. We have reached the point that he can be basically accident free with peeing when he's at home with us, although it does take a certain amount of convincing him that he needs to stop playing and sit on the potty. In fact, this weekend we started having a battle of wills about sitting on the potty, and it was getting pretty frustrating for all involved.
The solution: consequences. We don't make him sit on the potty if he adamently refuses. But, we have taken away all his matchbox cars and trucks and placed them on the mantle of our fireplace. He needs to earn them back by using the potty. Each time he successfully goes on the potty he gets one back, and each time he goes in his pants, we put the last one he got back on the fireplace mantle. I have to say this merit/demerit system has placed the decision in his hands. If he adamently refuses to go when we know he needs to, then he has an accident and loses a truck. It is very motivating for him.
Of course, we still have our challenges, namely going #2 and being comfortable going to the bathroom outside the house. It also would be nice if he eventually told us (or at least didn't deny) when he did need to use the potty.
But progress is occurring, and we're a little more than a week into it. Still, if you wonder what I'm doing rather than blogging, this is it.
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Dear Tucker
I appreciate your love of reading but want to clarify one thing. "What Do People Do All Day" by Richard Scary is not intended to be read cover to cover before naptime and bedtime, every day. Think of it like a series: each story in it is its own separate book and counts separately towards your four book before-bed reading limit.
FYI.
love, Mama
FYI.
love, Mama
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Bus #2
Tucker is the proud owner of a second bus. What boy needs a second bus, you ask? Well, mine certainly does not. But he is very much a fan of the new situation.
We went to the thrift store today to drop off a nice winter jacket and assorted other goodies so that someone could pick them up before Christmas, and of course Tucker thinks of the thrift store like the toy store so we needed to go in. (I told him, "If we go in, we can't go to the park. Do you want to go to the thrift store or the park?" Without hesitation he picked the thrift store and practically jumped out of his carseat.)
I knew I was a goner when I walked into the kids section and saw that someone had unloaded all their Fisher Price trucks. Two fire trucks, a bus, a farm truck and trailer, along with the usual assortment of random smaller cars and trucks.
Tucker turned to me and said "pick one." It was almost a question, but more of a statement. I do usually let him pick one--I figure we have set up a nice toy-recycling program with the thrift store. Usually I hope for smaller ones, not huge duplicate buses. I thought maybe I'd be able to wait him out and use my mad parenting skill to steer him towards a nice little matchbox car. Yeah right.
At least he didn't pick the fire truck. We already have three of those at home.
Monday, December 14, 2009
Wake Ducky
Tucker's beloved duck and pacifier live in his crib. Tucker carefully arranges them on his pillow after his nap, and tucks them into his blankets. It (mostly) doesn't occur to him to try to take them with him when he's not sleeping.
But he loves them a lot, and I realized in the past month that they are powerful incentive to go to bed. I've started asking him if he wants to wake Ducky up when I think it's naptime or bedtime. He LOVES this. He usually says yes and practically runs upstairs. If he needs a little more motivation, I'll pretend to be Ducky calling Tucker's name down the stairs.
The past week or so this has gone to an entirely new level: he has started coming up to ME at bedtime and naptime and asking to go wake ducky up. What two year-old asks to go to bed? Mine! I guess he is related to us--we tend to take our sleeping pretty seriously too. :)
Monday, November 30, 2009
One happy boy
Tucker is one happy boy tonight. He has his own school bus that we picked up at WalMart while doing our grocery shopping.
I had been intentionally NOT buying one of those Fisher Price plastic school buses with the people in it, because the church nursery has one, the gym has one, Beau Pre has one. I figured it kept those toys all the more special. But Tucker is totally fixated on buses and apparently the bus is now TOO special.
The nursery director at our church approached me with some concern this week that Tucker just goes into the nursery and hoards the bus week after week, sometimes just sitting there and staring at it and not even really playing. She was wondering if she should remove the bus to encourage him to be a bit more interactive.
Keep in mind our nursery director perceives very few things as problems, so when something rises to the level of talking to parents, something should be done. I don't think removing the bus from the nursery, however, would result in much more than sulking and a very sad boy. Tucker LOVES that bus. When Tucker passes our church in the car during the week he points to it and says "bus" because the bus is inside. In fact, when Tucker's friend Henry sees Tucker, Henry says "bus" because he knows Tucker is obsessed.
After much debate, Austin and I decided that we needed to have a bus at Midway Farm to hopefully over-expose our son to the yellow bus with the people that he loves so much, so that he will play with other toys while out of the house. I will also try to hype up the church nursery a bit and talk about the other things to do there as well.
Needless to say, Tucker is asleep with the school bus. (In fact, the school bus even participated in bathtime which didn't do good things to the sound on it!)
I had been intentionally NOT buying one of those Fisher Price plastic school buses with the people in it, because the church nursery has one, the gym has one, Beau Pre has one. I figured it kept those toys all the more special. But Tucker is totally fixated on buses and apparently the bus is now TOO special.
The nursery director at our church approached me with some concern this week that Tucker just goes into the nursery and hoards the bus week after week, sometimes just sitting there and staring at it and not even really playing. She was wondering if she should remove the bus to encourage him to be a bit more interactive.
Keep in mind our nursery director perceives very few things as problems, so when something rises to the level of talking to parents, something should be done. I don't think removing the bus from the nursery, however, would result in much more than sulking and a very sad boy. Tucker LOVES that bus. When Tucker passes our church in the car during the week he points to it and says "bus" because the bus is inside. In fact, when Tucker's friend Henry sees Tucker, Henry says "bus" because he knows Tucker is obsessed.
After much debate, Austin and I decided that we needed to have a bus at Midway Farm to hopefully over-expose our son to the yellow bus with the people that he loves so much, so that he will play with other toys while out of the house. I will also try to hype up the church nursery a bit and talk about the other things to do there as well.
Needless to say, Tucker is asleep with the school bus. (In fact, the school bus even participated in bathtime which didn't do good things to the sound on it!)
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