This is one of those posts I've been meaning to write for awhile, but haven't gotten around to. When Austin and I were dating, a family friend, Mark Good told us that one phrase that has proved very valuable in marriage is: "You might be right."
So, say you're in the middle of a heated argument. You KNOW your spouse is wrong. Still, you diffuse the situation and say "You might be right..." (and also you don't say "but" right after it). You say "You might be right. AND..." And then you can totally contradict their opinion, or whatever, but that little sentence opens up the possibility (even if you don't believe it at all) that there is something to talk about, maybe some way to reach some common ground.
About six months ago, I joined Netflix. Austin and I don't watch movies. In our dating and married life, I can probably list the movies we've watched together on two hands. That's like maybe three a year. Maybe. I decided this summer that with our now-total reliance on our antenna, perhaps it would be nice to have a DVD in the wings, just in case we got the urge to flop on the couch on a Friday night. So I joined. I quickly created a huge queue of movies (after all, I haven't been a regular movie watcher since middle school).
Austin thought I was crazy. He thought it was a ridiculous idea that WE would want to watch movies regularly. I think I humored him by using Dr. Good's line "you might be right, dear..." while I otherwise didn't budge in my outlook on Netflix.
And then we rented a dumb movie. Did I mention that Austin and I hardly ever enjoy the movies we do see together? And then we rented another bad movie.
I didn't like the movie Potter.
I didn't like the movie Apocalypse Now.
Meet the Fockers was fun, which Austin thought was crazy.
Thank You For Smoking was mediocre.
I got a season of ER, which it turns out I'm not all that interested in.
We got a season of the Office, which it turns out we had seen almost all the episodes of anyway.
Mostly the DVDs just sat on our TV. And sat. And sat. They would stare me in the face, daring me not to watch them. Not to watch them meant admitting defeat, that Netflix was not a good idea. But watching them was like a chore. Who really wants to commit to a two hour movie after Tucker's in bed? Certainly not me. (You could spend that time blogging, after all. :)
[Did I mention that in our household we keep track of who's right? Like on car trips, we make bets about lots of different things. What temperature will it be when we arrive? In what county will we be when we first encounter rain? How long will Tucker sleep? Etc. On our anniversary trip, I was on fire... I won every battle of the wills. My record was like 20 out of 20. (Okay, maybe like 4 for 4, and then Austin drew even the next day....)]
Finally though, I decided enough was enough. I couldn't deal with another red envelope sitting unwatched and I waved the white flag. I did it. I canceled Netflix. And I told Austin he was right.
Anyway, don't tell Austin
